How it should have been?
by PrettyEvil1992
Summary: how i think the show should have gone from 4.10 starting at Meredith's speech *spoilers* merder
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I do not own Grey's anatomy or any of the characters mentioned in this story

Derek Shepard stood in the hallway of the hospital the same hospital he had worked in for the past year and a half the same hallway he walked down every day and even though all the lights were off the place in which he stood had never seemed so bright.

He slid down the wall of the nurses desk pulled his knees to his chest and just sat there thinking. The words Meredith had said ran over and over in his mind as he analyzed every sentence she had said.

"**I don't want you to Date other people"**

_What the hell was he thinking when he kissed rose he knew as soon as he had done it that her kiss was nothing compared to Meredith's he felt disgusting after that kiss and he knew that meant that Meredith's kiss was the only one he wanted to experience for the rest of his life_.

The next line stuck in his head it made him sick to his stomach.

"**I may not be enough for you but I'm trying here"**

_Did she really think that she want enough for him did she really not know the only reason he got up in the morning was to see her face and he knew how hard she was trying and he didn't know why he was being so difficult he knew it had something to do with how much he needed her he hated the thought that he would miss her after a couple of hours or he would feel sick when he hasn't seen her in a few days the truth was he hated how much he needed her._

The line she said next was mind blowing she was saying everything that he had always wanted to say.

"**That's it …… Except I'm scared as hell to want you but here I am wanting you anyway**"

_He wanted to comfort her to take away her fears to make her feel completely comfortable in the way she felt those 27 words she had said made him feel happy and guilty at the same time happy that he still had a chance that he had not completely blown it and guilty that he had put her through that in the first place._

This next line just confused him

"**Fear means I have something to lose right and I don't want to lose you"**

_Did she think he was going somewhere there was no way that he was going to lose her again at least not without putting up a fight_.

The thing that had confused him the most is why she would not let him say anything all she had said was

"**Don't say anything I'm gonna leave and you can say something tomorrow that's progress right…."**

_He was really feeling the pressure he knew she expected him to say what he thought about them how he really felt._

_But he knew there was no way he was going to be able to fit how he felt about her into a 5 minute speech he knew when he started about how he felt about her he could go on for hours._

Derek got up off the floor got his stuff from his office and started to head home not for one second his mind leaving the thoughts of Meredith's speech and the fear of what he was going to say tomorrow.

Plz comment but please don't be too harsh it's my first fanfic


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I still don't own greys anatomy

Meredith woke up to the loud beeping of the alarm next to her she leaned over and pulled the plug out she slowly sat up and tried to keep her eyes open.

She didn't know whether to be excited for the rest of the day or to just stay in bed and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist.

She decided she better get up she had a major surgery that morning. Meredith heard izzie banging on the door she looked at the clock she threw on some clothes and ran out the door she would have 2 have a shower at work again.

When she got into the car there was a weird awkward silence between Izzie and George.

Oh well she would have to deal with them later she had her own problems to deal with.

The whole ride to work as in total silence she was actually quite relived cause they weren't asking questions about why her hair wasn't brushed or why it looked like she had got a total of 2 hours sleep last night.

When the car stopped at the hospital she jumped out of the car without even saying bye to George and izzie.

She ran inside and straight upstairs to the locker room checking that the coast was clear she fixed her hair and changed into her scrubs.

When she walked out she noticed Derek with his back turned to her facing the nurses' station she took one deep breath and walked over to him.

She tapped him on the shoulder he turned to her and she noticed that he looked like he slept the same amount of time she did last night but as soon as he saw her, his eyes instantly lit up and he leant against the wall like he always tended to do when he saw her.

Derek taking the first move smiled at her and said "Hey I was thinking about what you said last night and I was thinking about it a lot and there's something I wanted to say so please let me talk and please don't freak out is that ok? "

Worry instantly worry entered her mind but she faked a smile and said ok anyway

He continued "I don't want to date other people either I've told you I wanted to marry you and I still do but I know you wanted and need to take it in small steps so here I go I'm building a house on my land and I'm not building any old house I'm building our house the house we will hopefully grow old in, the house we will raise our children In. But I know were going slow so I'm just building us a house on my land you don't have to move In but I can't think of anything better than waking up to your face every morning if not for the rest of my life at least for the foreseeable future so please just think about it I don't expect a answer straight away but right now I have a surgery so find me when you have your answer."

He leant down and kissed her cheek before he turned and walked away she just stood there in silence wondering what to say I had never felt this excited and scared at the same time before, wondering what she could say to him.

At least she had a whole surgery to think about what she should do then she realised she was running behind she ran into the prep room and started to get ready for the surgery

A/N Please comment


	3. Chapter 3

I wish I owned greys anatomy sadly I do not

The next 4 hours went in a total blur for Meredith she couldn't concentrate in surgery, she didn't even realise when the patient had been taken back up to her room and everyone else had started to leave the operating room.

She went out with one of her interns and informed the patient's family that the surgery was a success and went back to the locker room to find the rest of her interns.

After she had assigned all her interns to a surgeon she went to the on call room to try to catch up on the sleep that she had lost last night.

When she walked into the room she saw Derek trying to sleep on the top bunk

He hadn't noticed her yet she didn't know weather to go in or not she still had no idea what she was going to say to him.

Yes she wanted to move in with him but she didn't know if she was ready for that it would completely change there relationship what if he didn't like living with her but the logical part of her brain told her that they were pretty much living with each other already they both had their clothes at each others houses they had barely spent a night apart in the last 2 years.

While she was standing there trying to decide weather she should go in or not she didn't realise that Derek had noticed her and was now just watching her half his brain trying not to laugh the other half wondering weather she had decided to move in with him or not

When she noticed that he was watching her. Her face instantly turned red

She muttered "I should just go and let you sleep"

"No stay" he said a little too quickly for his liking

"Umm Derek ive umm made my mind up about moving in with you and I want to do it I think we're ready I mean i still want to keep my house so izzie and alex can live there but yeah i want to move in with you "

"Really I don't want you to rush into anything I mean I said I would wait for you and I meant it"

"No I'm sure but I think we should build the house before we move in with each other officially because even though i love the trailer theres not really enough room for 2 people"

"Your positive your ready I don't want to you to move in just to make me happy"

"Derek I'm sure "

"Oh god you have no idea how much I love you right now"

"As much as I would love to stay and find out I am so tired and I don't think I will get much sleep in this room"

"No stay I promise you I am just as tired as you are"

"So we can just sleep"

"We can just sleep"

They both crawled into the bottom bunk pretty much falling asleep as soon as there head hit there pillows just before he fell asleep Derek whispered " I love you mer" before both of them went to sleep

I'm not sure about this chapter so I would love comments good or bad


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter was written by my friend Rachel and its fantastic but even though she writes good Grey's anatomy stories we do not own it

"Today was long" Derek said as he got into his car

"Today was long but I am really hungry, I had a 5 hour surgery and no lunch so you either cook for me or we are going out and by your long day I say go out" she smiled to Derek

"I don't think so" he laughed "the day will never be to long for me to cook for you"

"That's cheesy Der, way to cheesy for me but for some unknown reason I love it and i would defiantly love you to cook for me but have you seen that fridge at the trailer you don't buy food you fish for food so I think we need to make a quick stop at the supermarket mister unless you want to go fishing at 8:30 at night after this long day its fine with me" she smiled

"Fine" Derek signed "just because i am so madly in love with you" he smiled

Meredith giggled that giggle that Derek loved so much nearly more then that ratty little Dartmouth T-Shirt "and there it is again the cheesiness when is it going to stop" she laughed

"Well as long as i am around and you are around the cheesiness stays" he smiled

She looked at him and shook her head and smiled she couldn't think of the last time she had been this happy and in that moment she realised she has something pretty special that might only come around once and this was her once.

Mer, Meredith "he laughed" day dreaming "he asked"

"Oh yeah, Sorry yeah, day dreaming yeah" she said still looking at him

"oh well yeah where here so lets go get this shopping done so we can get home have dinner and get into bed" he said as he was getting out of the car

They walked into the supermarket together hand in hand looking like the happiest couple in Seattle.

As they walked around together Meredith pushed the trolley as Derek put his hands around her and put his face in her hair.

Derek smiled as he smelt her hair "I don't think you understand how much I actually love the smell off your hair"

Meredith whispered he could hardly even hear her "I think I do" with a little smirk on her face but trying to think about what she needed then she thought "Derek that reminds me i need shampoo and conditioner you know the one I get because its the one you love so can you go get that while I go look for other stuff I need, do you need anything?" Meredith asked

"oh I think you can leave getting the food stuff up to me we know what happens with you and food god we should even put Meredith and food in the same sentence" he laughed

"Oh that just mean" she giggled " please just go get my shampoo and conditioner because i am getting older by the minute"

"Ok, ok going" He loved it when she was bossy it kept him alive

Derek had this spring in his step he was the happiest men alive, He was shopping with his girlfriend the women who is the love of his like the women he was building a life with finally building a life with slowly but they where, that women who had kicked him out that morning and who turned out to be his intern was now the love of his like it was almost surreal, He still had the slightest bit of guilt he made her intern year a living hell, He broke her and he cant forgive himself maybe soon but not yet.

Derek's eyes grew big

"Derek"

"Rose" He said with a fake smile

And against all odds who was turning the corner in that moment

"Derek what's taking you so lonn...gg"

"Oh rose" Meredith signed

"Oh Meredith your the other women your the women Derek has for a good fuck" she asked with a hint of jealousy in her voice

_"__you__ must be the women screwing me husband"_

This was all to real for Meredith It was like de ja vu, it was like in 2 seconds her world has came from madly happy and now it was like someone had punched he in the stomach 30 times but she couldn't fall not just yet

In the moment Derek wanted to run to Meredith and tell her that everything would be ok and he would never ever leave her for that woman.

"How dare you" Derek yelled as he looked at Meredith who was looking at him in an awe as if she needed hope she wanted to say almost needed to say please Derek please don't let this turn out like it did last time. In that moment he knew that it would never turn out like it did last time because that would be the end the end of her the end of him.

_"Pick me, choose me, __love__ me"_

Derek looked at rose "If you think for one second that I would Ever Ever choose you over meredith then you have another thing coming.

_"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you_

"Meredith, mer, she's, my mere, She's the love of my life" he rambled "and this time I am going to choose right" he looked at her"because I really really love that girl who is standing there who looks like she is about to brake at any second, but she is just so strong but eventually you fall and I don't want her to fall because of some stupid mistake he turned to look at rose "for kissing you and I will regret that kiss rose till the day i die, because the thing is Meredith I dream.." he took a deep breath and thought oh my god I am doing this in a supermarket she is going to hate me, He turned to look at her "i dream that we are those two that are so madly deeply in love that our love will last till the end, forever and we will build our dream home, and have beautiful kids who we will love dearly because they where made by you and me and it would be something pretty big, special, god even amazing if it was made from you and me" he smiled "and one day soon we are going to have the most beautiful wedding to celebrate our love and when I see you walking down that isle in that beautiful white dress, I will look at you and you will look at me and we will know in that second that everything that we have been through the wife, the dying, the avoidance, the nurse kissing will all be laughable because we will be so happy that everything else will just go away and it will be you and me.

Meredith looked at him, she actually couldn't believe he was doing this in a supermarket but in that moment she didn't care she was crying god she was crying hysterically , it was time she new it was time but in that moment she knew that this might be the biggest cliché anyone has ever seen and they where going to laugh about this on there wedding day, she ran up to him jumped in his arms with tears streaming down her face, and kissed him this was defiantly not a Habit, or something that you do before you go to work this kiss was passion, love , forgiveness then she said it "i love you so much you don't understand i just love you so much" while she was still crying hysterically.

But Derek knew he would be doing this for the rest of his life he was holding her and telling her how much her loved her that was OK with him if he got to just do this forever then his life would be worth living " i love you so much too if only you knew"

And they both looked around and rose was gone , she was really gone forever, now it was there turn for there forever.

_And if all we've got, is what no one can break,__I know I love you, if that's all we can take,__the tears are coming down, they're mixing with the rain,__I know I love you, if that's all we can take._

_You're all I need_

plz comment


	5. Chapter 5

Derek woke up to the glare of the sun the next morning he looked down at his sleeping Meredith.

He thought of the time she caught him watching her sleep and her reaction to it

_She gave him a weird look" were you watching me sleep"_

_Derek leant down and gave Meredith a kiss and he mumbled" maybe"_

_She giggled and said "what are you some weirdo that watches women sleep"_

_He leant down and gave her another kiss and yet again muttered maybe she then again giggled_

He was woken out of his thoughts when he felt Meredith begin to stir next to him

He smiled at her and gave her a quick kiss "what time do you have to go in today" she asked dreading having to get up

"well I start in about half an hour so better start to get ready"Meredith sighed she knew that he was working early today she was just hoping It wasn't that early

"okay I'll get up too"

"oh you don't have to you can stay in bed if you want "

"as much as I would love to we drove here together remember and anyway I start in an hour so its only like 10 minutes more sleep"

He nodded and they both got up and got ready for work 20 minutes later they were both in the car on there way to work they spent the whole ride in total silence both just appreciating each other When they got to the hospital they gave each other a quick kiss and parted separate ways Meredith went to the interns locker room and started assigning the interns

She then looked up onto the surgery board and noticed Derek had a surgery in 10 minutes she ran to the OR room and quickly scrubbed in Derek smiled at her and then she heard a "it's a beautiful day to save lives now lets have some fun"

2 and a half hours later the surgery had been anything but fun the patient a young woman in her early 50's had crashed on the table, Derek had tried everything to revive her but it was no use after 2 minutes of no heart beat Derek had to call his time of death.

As they walked into the hallway Derek asked Meredith to go and inform the family and then he walked away

Meredith looked at George about to turn the corner She yelled his name and he turned to look at her

"Can u do me a massive favour" she asked

"sure what do you need me to do"

"Can you please go tell Ms Harleys family what happened in surgery"

"Didn't Derek ask you to do that"

"I just want to go see if he's okay"

"okay ill do it"Meredith watched George turn the corner than she went to Derek's office

As she walked through the door she saw him with his head on his desk She walked over to him and sat next to him

He looked up like he had just noticed she was there "didn't I ask you to go tell the family" Derek said clearly annoyed

"don't worry I asked George to do it" she said

"if I had wanted O'Malley to do it I would have asked him cant you follow a simple instruction"

"I no you are upset at losing this patient but I didn't do anything wrong so don't yell at me" Meredith screamed

"Don't tell me how I feel u have no idea what it feels like to have to actually be a good surgeon I wasn't like you I don't just have everyone assume that I am good because my mother was"

"Don't bring up my mother this has nothing to do with her"

"Dr Grey I would like you to leave my office I need some time alone"

Meredith could not believe what she was hearing so she just stood up and left the room leaving Derek to completely regret what he had just done

**I'm wandering**

**I'm crawling **

**I'm two steps away from falling**

**Just can't seem to get around**

**I'm heavy**

**I'm weary**

**Not thinking clearly**

**I just can't seem to find solid ground**

**Since you've been around**


	6. Chapter 6

This time Derek had completely blew it, this was it he thought, if she leaves me when I get home it's fine because how he spoke to Meredith, His Meredith it was unforgivable a how he just treated her, he deserves to be left, she deserves better, all these thoughts going threw his brain as he drove home to the trailer from the night before were he had told her that he wanted everything with her forever and now he treated her like crap and to even bring up her mother who abandoned her killed him, she deserves better.

_"__He'__s the one and I__ wish he wasn't__"_

As Derek shut his car off he took a deep breathe knowing that this could be it this could actually be the end, the end of you and me, the end of Meredith and Derek and that scared his half to death.

As he opened the door he saw her his Meredith laying there in there bed underneath the blankets crying that killed him.

"Mer" he said softly

"no, no" she said a she sniffled "you don't get to say my name like that you just don't get to how dare you" she yelled "how dare you bring up my mother, you know that if i could choose anything in the world i would not be a Grey do you know what its like for me to be the daughter of the Ellis Grey" she yelled, walking closer to him "I never had a mum, i had a mother, I was alone all the time, she didn't care about me, she didn't want anything to do with me, do you know what she has said to me half the things she thinks Richard left her because she had a daughter that is on me I am her mistake , I am the child that was never meant to be or live she wish she never had me how do you think that makes me feel as a person" she yelled pointing her finger at him "so now you tell me all the advantages of being Ellis Grey's daughter and you tell me how privileged you think i am i was alone Derek all alone" she cried

_"Meredith's mother never wanted her and her father was never man enough to hang around. She has a right to be damaged"_

Derek looked at her with his sad eyes that hurt the most her family never wanted her, Meredith's family never wanted her, "but i want you, i want you, you don't understand how much i want you, I don't know what my life would be like if you weren't here, everyday i think how lucky i am to have someone like you in my life, and you are never, ever going to be a alone again never, and you are never going to feel unwanted again because i want you god i want you" he said as he pulled her into a hug

She was still crying she got her hand and held onto his shirt so tight "I can't let you off the hook that easily you know what to say and when to say it" she put her head in his chest " her hands starting hitting him lightly "you don't understand how much that hurt me what you said the man I love the most is saying that to me, mentioning my mother, telling me i have privileges, I work just as hard as anyone in that hospital does she whispered

"I know you work just as hard as everyone but i know this is no excuse but i lost a patient and its hard and i snapped at you i snapped at the women i love the most, the most important thing to me in the world" he said whilst holding her so tight as if she was going to let go at any minute

" I am giving you a out" he whispered " This can be it for us you make the call because i can never ever leave you this can be the end of you and me because i just keep hurting you and i hate that i am doing it but you deserve better, you deserve better then me.

_"I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you."_

With that Meredith looked up "no Derek no, no ,no we cant brake up your it your Derek and I'm Meredith I cant forgive you yet soon maybe but not yet"

"I have hurt you one to many times Meredith are you sure you still want this you and me the happily ever after"

"you don't understand how much i want this happily ever after you don't understand i need this happily ever after i need to prove i am not going to end up emotionally crippled like my mother" she started to tear up again "and i don't want to die alone i don't want to die alone like she did" and with that she held onto Derek so tight like she was never going to let go

"I promise you mer i promise i will do my best i will try as hard as i can not to hurt you we will have fights and yell and scream at each other but at the end of the day we love each other so much mer that i don't think anything can keep us apart, I really think fate is on our side look at us mer where still going after everything that has to be a sign thats a massive sign" he whispered in her ear

They both looked each other in the eyes and kissed it was comforting like they where safe right there in that moment in that trailer they could take on anything that they where strong together and maybe at the end of all this it will be worth the stupid things that Derek says and the speeches he gives.

They where tired it had been such a long emotional exhausting day it had been one of those days where you where happy to be with the person you love at the end of it and pretty much just breathing in and out with that Meredith got down to her bra and panties and Derek got down to his boxes and with that they both climbed in together still one couple maybe just a little bit stronger then and hour ago from the verge of a break up to now holding each other in bed and that made this whole hour, day ,fight all worth it that at the end of the day they could still be there for each other holding each other as a madly in love couple who can stay mad at one another even if they tried.

With that they woke up the next morning embracing each other and looking at one another in the eyes

As Meredith said to Derek "today is a new day"

And with that Derek rolled on top of her and kissed her full of amazement and love and passion.

_baby when the sun comes up, __i'm__gonna__ be holding you__it's destiny that your next to me, __i'm__ in love with you__oh and baby when __i__ wake up, __i'm__gonna__ be there with you, a new day rise __i__wanna__ look in your eyes when the sun comes up_


	7. Chapter 7

We don't own greys anatomy obviously

After Derek had driven him and Meredith to work that morning he went straight to his office and saw the piles of unfinished paperwork on his desk from yesterdays patient.

He sat down at his desk and started to fill it out as he did this his mind wandered to what he did yesterday and how close he had come to losing Meredith.

He was glad she was finally accepting how much he loved her instead of running away from it and avoiding the issue it was showing that they were moving forward.

He still knew though that it would be a while until Meredith fully forgave him.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by his beeper going off he went over to it 911 in the pit.

When he reached the pit it was a total disaster there were people on gurneys everywhere people covered in blood.

He ran over to Meredith to ask her what happened but she just pushed past him with a teenage girl on the gurney but before he thought she was angry she turned and mouthed sorry and then rushed off

He was shocked at the injuries in this room he spotted bailey he ran over to her

"What happened there is at least 15 people in here most of them teenagers"

"school shooting a 16 year old boy came in and shot 20 classmates and 4 teachers we only got half of them mercy got the other half"

Derek was shocked he didn't understand how someone could do that.

"what makes a person do that to other people"

"sometimes its just too much to take for someone sometimes people just snap"

With that she ran off to tend to a patient

Derek stood there in complete silence that word "snapped" technically that's what he had done yesterday.

He told himself he would never take it to that extreme that that kid had serious issues and he didn't he would never do anything to hurt anyone.

But It clicked he did hurt someone he hurt Meredith he may not have used violence but sometimes words can be just as bad.

He ran to find her to make sure she knew how sorry he was for yesterday and how much he loved her.

Just as he turned the corner he saw Meredith she ran up to him

"Derek I have been looking everywhere for you I need you on a consult"

Derek decided to push his doubts about him and Meredith aside for now.

"okay what's the case"

"15 year old Stacey Primrose submitted with 2 gunshot wounds 1 in the back of her head and the other on her leg" Meredith explained

"she got shot in the back of her head how is she still alive ?"

"I don't know we are about to get the MRI results back but there is not exit wound"

"well lets go find out then"

Derek and Meredith walked in to Stacey's room Derek saw Stacey unconscious on the bed but he wasn't really focused on her he was focused on her parents a short fat man and a slightly skinnier housewife looking woman.

Both of them seemed to be more upset then Derek could ever imagine especially the woman who had tears streaming down her face when Derek and Meredith walked into the room they both stood up quickly

"Is Stacey going to be okay ? " asked a still very upset Mr Primrose

"We are still waiting for the results but I promise that as soon as we know anything we will let you know" Derek said

"thank you very much we still don't believe this has happened I mean you don't think this will happen to your children you think this is something you just see on the news it doesn't actually happen to you" Mr primrose said as his wife let out another sob

" well im very sorry for what happened and I can promise we will do everything we can to save her life and make sure she gets back to living a normal life"

"Dr Shepard we should probably go get the MRI results now" Meredith almost whispered

"Mr and Mrs primrose we are just going to go and get the results of your daughters MRI now if you need anything though just get one of the nurses to page one of us is that okay?"

They both nodded and sat back next to there daughter

Derek and Meredith both walked out of the room in complete silence.

Meredith looked over at Derek he noticed that her eyes were watering he pulled her into a hug.

"she just looked so sad like she had died in side"

"I know but we will try and save her"

"Derek im not stupid I know her chances are nearly non existent" Meredith said

Derek wiped away the few tears that had fallen

"sometimes they get lucky Meredith you know that I mean I got lucky with you, you survived and your chances were small maybe her parents will get lucky too"

She nodded and turned around and just as they thought the day couldn't get any worse she saw a face she had grown to hate

_I'm sorry if I made you want to cry _

_I'm sorry if I made you want to cry _

_You should know, I never meant to hide _

_I just hate bringing you down __Oh, I just hate bringing you down_


	8. Chapter 8

Meredith looked at Derek she had a look of hope in her eyes as if to say please, please don't tell me that man walking towards me is thatcher the man who abandoned me when i was 5, who slapped her across the face who was meant to be her father .

Derek looked at Meredith he looked at her as if to say everything is going to be ok, stay beside me and everything will be fine I will protect you from this walking or should i say stumbling accident waiting to happen.

He took her hand and squeezed it tight

Meredith whispered "Derek" as her eyes started to water and as he got closer

Derek whispered back "everything is going to be ok i promise i swear i am here now right here and he wont get to hurt you anymore"

Thatcher came stumbling up to Meredith and Derek

" i need to see lexie you know the real daughter, the daughter that was planned not the daughter who has completely failed with everything in life, god she couldn't even save Susan what kind of Docter is that" he questioned

Next thing you know Thatcher is on the ground and Meredith is hugging Derek so tightly it felt like she was never going to let go and that was more than ok with him because right now she needed him more then ever.

He lead her into a on call room she was hyperventilating "i don't, I don't, I don't want to ever, ever, ever see him again" she said as best she called whilst breathing in and out

"I know you don't we don't ever have to that's fine with me" and it really was fine with him because he hated this man, how could that man say that to another human being let alone his daughter

Meredith hugged Derek tighter as he whispered into her ear "its ok its ok its over now i promise"

And it really was as long as he was around and that was forever she wasn't going to be hurt like this anymore it was over the old Meredith grey who would constantly get knocked down when she was up wouldn't get knocked down anymore now Meredith grey would always be up he was sure they would have there moments but most of the moments would be up

She finally whispered "I'm ok I really am ok now" she sniffled "i just, you promise we wont end up like my mother and father right now in this moment i need to know that when we do this whole house marriage, kids thing i know we haven't talked about kids and marriage that much but i want it with you i really do but you have to promise me that when we do get it all hopefully we will get there together but it wont all come crashing down because i couldn't do anything alone anymore and it would brake me and i know i don't say it enough but i love you so much i just do and i can't end up like me mother i need to be better then that i need us to be better than them" she looked up at his with her watery eyes

And in that moment he looked at her and whispered in her eye "i promise you i promise you my life that we will never ever end up like them and i want the house and the kids and i want to get married i know we don't talk about it but i want it with you and i know i should say it every minute i see you but i love you so much and i am honoured to have you in my life everyday" he smiled but Derek knew that she was really not ok but they where getting to that stage where maybe soonish she could be ok not today not tomorrow but soonish.

"You are the cheesiest guy i know" she smiled

"Yeh i know and i hope the only one to" he laughed

As much as she would tell him she hated him and his cheesiness, she really did love it, he knew what to say and when to say it those where one of the many things she loves about him

He kissed her and hugged her then they walked out of the on call room hand in hand

Meredith was sitting in the cafeteria eating when she saw Izzie walking towards her

" hey mer, god i heard about your dad turning up here god that would have been terrible and awkward and are you ok after the whole Derek's fist going towards your fathers face" izzie asked

" I couldn't be more happy seeing Derek's fist going into that mans face after what he said to me its unforgivable and I am better then caring anymore i have got new stuff going on" she smiled

"god Derek is your knight and shining whatever" izzie said while taking a bite of her sandwich

Meredith looked at her then back down Derek was her night in shinning whatever but she would never tell him that his ego would get that boost that was not need she thought to herself then smiled.

" how's life for you these days Meredith" izzie asked

"its amazing iz really i am getting my life together you know i am moving out of my mothers house and me and Derek are building our own house together with kids bedrooms and French doors and everything" she smiled " for my sake i need to move forward with my life i need to start my new life with Derek, i cant think about my past anymore it hurts to much i need to go for the future now" she then took a bite of the sandwich

"that's great mer" izzie smiled then izzie got the massive smile and said "oh my god mer you know what this means your moving into a house this means painting and shopping and new lamps and beds and bed side tables and everything homely you need and i am willing to help you yay! Mer this is so excited you have no idea i have been dying to do this for someone you know because it dosent look like i am getting my mansion anytime soon"

"Not a mansion"

"Mansion"

"There will be no mansion"

"seriously mer its going to be a mansion"

"Fine ok, if Derek is building it, it will most likely be a mansion"

"well, ok then i am going to start collecting catalogues and circling the things i like the show them to you of course yay! This so so exciting mer you have no idea i am so happy for you" izzie got up and hugged Meredith "you have no idea how lucky you are Meredith you are getting your mcmansion, your mcdreamy, your mclife together, your mcmansion looking over the most beautiful views in Seattle" izzie smiled whilst walking away.

Meredith was kind of realizing how lucky she really was, she had this feeling that maybe she was gonig to have it all, She wasn't going to end up like her mother and that made her proud.

It was the end of a long day at the hospital and Meredith was waiting for Derek in the lobby, she then saw him coming out of the elevator she smiled and meet him half way.

They both kissed and walked out hand in hand they where happy

As they where getting in the car Meredith asked how Stacey primrose was Derek answered "we will get the results tomorrow but everything should be fine" he smiled at her she smiled back

They where on the way to the trailer and talking about what had gone on that day and they where just happy that now together they could be happy to be just next to each other and in some weird way after a long hard day they kind of did make each others world okay again

They had a quick dinner and they had a shower together, they then crawled in each others arms and talked something they never used to do but know they loved talked, they loved talking about there future together.

"I am excited about our house together you know the one looking over the lake" she giggled "i talked about it with Izzie today she's about as excited as i am and i didn't think that was possible" she smiled while moving closer into him

" yes i think i Know the house" he laughed "the one where we can wake up in each others arms and was the fog rise over the lake" he smiled

"Cheesiness again but yes that is the one" she laughed

" just make sure our house isent so big that when we are old and cripple or whatever that is dosent take us like a yr to get from one end to the other" she said

Derek laughed and said "yes Meredith"

"I love you Derek and i cant wait for our house with the kids rooms and French doors" she smiled and closed her eyes

"I love you to Meredith and i can't wait for our house overlooking the water and us watching the fog rise of the lake"

_And it's you and me and all other people __And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_


End file.
